Postpartum University® Podcast

Ditch the Big Goals: How to Embrace Simplicity for a Happier New Year EP 197

• Maranda Bower, Postpartum Nutrition Specialist

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Are you feeling the pressure to set massive New Year's resolutions?

I know I always do! But this year, I'm ditching the grind and embracing a "less is more" approach. In this episode, we're talking all about simplicity, from prioritizing rest and play to deepening existing relationships and cultivating sustainable wellness habits. We'll explore why big goals can actually burn you out and how to find joy in the everyday. Whether you're a busy mom or a postpartum professional, this episode is for you! Let's ditch the stress and unlock a happier, more fulfilling life together.

Check out the episode on the blog: https://postpartumu.com/ditch-the-big-goals-how-to-embrace-simplicity-for-a-happier-new-year-ep-197


KEY TIME STAMPS: 

1:26: Time and Energy Constraints

3:15: Avoiding the "More, More, More" Trap

4:15: Prioritizing Play and Rest

6:57: Simplifying To-Do Lists

8:10: Identifying "Self-Inflicted" Projects

9:46: Eliminating Unnecessary Tasks

10:35: Deepening Existing Relationships

11:53: Intentionality in Relationships

13:36: Bringing Back Community and Togetherness

15:49: Nourishing Yourself and Your Body

16:35: Sustainable Wellness Practices

17:35: Prioritizing Play and Rest

19:09: Creating Meaningful Memories

20:16: The Importance of Little Moments

21:06: Focusing on What Matters Most

21:54: Setting Small, Achievable Intentions

22:44: Giving Yourself Permission to Say No


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Speaker 1:

The postpartum care system is failing, leaving countless mothers struggling with depression, anxiety and autoimmune conditions. I'm Miranda Bauer and I've helped thousands of providers use holistic care practices to heal their clients at the root. Subscribe now and join us in addressing what modern medicine overlooks, so that you can give your clients real, lasting solutions for lifelong wellbeing. Oh, my goodness everyone, I tell you what the end of the year feels like. It always sneaks up on me, I swear to you, as I get older and older. It's like time just flies by so fast and just watching my kids grow, but also just like the days seem to be really, really short in this lifespan. All of a sudden. I don't know if I'm just crazy in my, my thinking there or if there's something to it, but I, as I get older, I'm like, oh, those cliche conversations of, like you know, really enjoy it while it lasts, because you know days are short and all of this stuff. It just is really hitting me really hard, especially now that the new year is upon us. This is like the last episode of 2024, y'all this is insane to me that we are already here.

Speaker 1:

I feel like just last year I was making all of these big goals and plans, and I'm coming into this new year with a whole new idea of what I really want to do, and I tell you what it is ditching those big, giant goals. I am done with it. They have their place, but I'm telling you this is not the season for those, and I'm seeing so many moms and so many providers and so many people in general feel the exact same way. This season of life may not be about setting those grand, high reaching goals, but about finding the joy and simplicity, and that's really what I want to dive into today, because I feel like so many people are talking about. You know how do you goal set and how do you achieve this, and you know your 90 day strategy and like all of this. But I really want to reiterate how incredibly beautiful the whole sentiment of less is more for the new year, and why ditching these big goals can be legit, the most fulfilling thing you do, and how to approach this in a way that's going to lead to a happier, more grounded year, because, after all, it's really what we're after. Right, and I want to start with the question like how many of you, you in particular, feel like you have enough time, enough energy and enough mental space to add more to your plate. Likely, you're saying absolutely not, that is not going to happen and most of us are already stretched so thin balancing work, mother load, caregiving.

Speaker 1:

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that this new year means that we should pile on resolutions and change. You know, you know our lifestyles and I'm going to do this kind of workout routine and I'm going to lose this much weight and I'm going to eat very well and I'm going to run that marathon and all of those like super popular ones, right, chasing all the goals, doing more, more, more, more, more. But I really want to challenge that idea today. Instead of asking what more can I add, what if we asked, what can I let go of? What can I simplify? And focusing on simplicity as the essential, because trying to do more than what we're already doing just leads to burnout and resentment and feeling like we're never enough. Embracing that less is more mindset means finding peace and energy and space for what truly brings us joy and connection.

Speaker 1:

I think we can all agree that big goals have their place, but life has seasons and some seasons call for this gentleness and smaller steps and to really take a step back sometimes and I do this a lot, especially in my business, where I have, like, these big goals and I am really ambitious, I am that type A, I'm going to reach them and I add more things to my plate and then all of a sudden I'm looking at all of the things that I've accomplished and all the things that I've done, and you know, there's so much that now I feel lost and all of it. And I do this in motherhood too, where it's like, oh, this would be so fun, and let's do this, and let's do that, and let's do this, and then all of a sudden it's like holy smokes, what did I sign up for? There is so much going on here and oftentimes we need these seasons to like, step back and not run the marathon or tackle a new project, but instead focus on these small and intentional changes that make life richer and more peaceful. So for many of us, you know, this go big or go home approach just adds unnecessary stress. And I'm telling you it's okay to put aside the pressure of big life, altering goals and, in this season, take on fewer goals or focusing on small, meaningful habits as the most realistic path, because that's what affects us on the day to day. It's like what we do every single day that's going to affect us. It's not running the marathon, it's literally how are we approaching laundry throughout the week so that we don't hit overwhelm on the weekends, or whatever the case may be for you? Or like, how am I, you know, managing this little thing that I have to do on the daily basis, on a daily basis, because that day-to-day living that is so powerful, that's where we spend so much of our time and our energy. And for those of us in motherhood, we know there's always like a shift that needs to happen, and maybe we're learning to navigate toddlerhood or handling teenage years or balancing like, work and family, and that's why it's okay to say I'm going to figure out the nitty gritty, like the little pieces, and make this year about simplifying. So here's what I've done. I want to tell you what I've done to really simplify my life and share with you some strategies that have really worked for me, and the first is really simplifying my to-dos. I love to-dos.

Speaker 1:

I live by my list, hello Virgo, and I am sure you have a list somewhere that's a mile long, just like I do with everything from errands to goals to projects. That's a mile long, just like I do with everything from errands to goals to projects. I even have lists of like here's all of my nail polish colors so that when I'm in a store and I see something that I really love, I know not to buy what's already on my list because I, you know, already have it, or homeopathics or essential oils or herbs. I keep literal lists of all of those things on my phone so that I love Notion For those of you who might be wondering what I use Notion that is my plugin for today, but I love using those lists. They're everything to me, but what I have a tendency to do is throw a bunch of things on my list that really don't belong on my list, like dishes and laundry, prime examples, and watering my plants, right Like. These are things that I have had on my list forever and I literally check them off every like. They're going to get done. It's not not going to happen, and maybe you're in a stage of your life where you'd like you need watering plants on your on your list.

Speaker 1:

I was on in that stage of life for a long time, too, where I needed that reminder, but now I don't, because it's like such a habit for me, it's already a part of my life and I have to do laundry. I have four kids. Like not doing laundry is is crazy sauce, right? I there was. There would be a lot of problems if I didn't do laundry. I have four kids. Like not doing laundry is is crazy sauce, right? I there was. There would be a lot of problems if I didn't do laundry.

Speaker 1:

So it's I like throwing things on my list that really don't belong, but even more throwing things on my list that you know are not just everyday to do's or or whatever the case may be, but are like big, self-inflicted projects. This is what I call it and I put it in parentheses like is this a project that necessarily needs to be done? And if it's something that brings me joy, I will put in there self-inflicted joy. Right, and I know that sounds weird, but it's also to remind me that this is a task that's going to, that's we're not doing because it's a necessary thing to get done. It is not necessary for me to like organize all of my photos of 2024 into digital, a digital account, and to order pictures and do all the things and like, if I think of it as something that I have to do, then it's gonna take the fun out of it and it's gonna feel overwhelming. But if I look at it as like this self-inflicted joy, then I can look at it with a smile and say, oh, this is something I get to do when I feel like I have time and that feels so much better for me.

Speaker 1:

And also just eliminating the things that are just not working, like what things clubs are you a part of? That's not okay. What things are your kids signed up for that you don't wanna do? How can you make things a lot easier in your life? Where are you showing up that you don't wanna be showing up? How many things like make it a game? How many things can you cross off your list so that you don't want to be showing up? How many things like make it a game? How many things can you cross off your list so you don't have to do it anymore? Like I am no longer baking cookies for the PTA every single month. I am no longer going to be doing X, y, z every you know, all the time. Or I am no longer going to be driving my kids back and forth in this way because I'm going to ask somebody else to do it or I'm just not going to have, we're not going to sign up for it again. You know how many things can you literally take off your list and how much time can you free up in that process. Here's the other thing.

Speaker 1:

I have really been looking at areas of relationships. Instead of thinking, oh, I need to expand my network more or I need to, like, make new friends, I've been thinking about how I can deepen the relationships I already have, and that means and for me it's been like who, who are the people in my life that I really want to spend time with, that I really want to know more, that I really want to cultivate something intentional with, and how can I show up with them in this way that feels fun and fulfilling for not just me but also for them as well? Like, how can we put ourselves in these places where we can make regular calls or have family dinners, or even make time for our partner or set up, you know, a coffee date in the morning when we drop the kids off? How can we do that so that these relationships are something that gets to grow and deepen and again, not adding more to your plate, but like where can we build this relationship in a way that's going to feel so good and beneficial for us both?

Speaker 1:

I have a dear friend of mine and this is a really prime example of like intentionality behind relationships, and I've gotten to know her over the years and she's just been such a beautiful blessing in my life the years and she's just been such a beautiful blessing in my life. We like occasionally get to see each other. Maybe like literally we live like 15 minutes down the road from each other and she's very busy doing her life things and I'm very busy doing my life things. But we see each other maybe like four or five times a year and it's basically like to drop off gifts, like that's what we do Like she will drop off a bunch of homemade applesauce that she made and I'm dropping off peony flowers and a big jar of homemade vanilla extract that we made from our trip in Tahiti. And we do that like periodically, like just out of the blue, right, like these are, these are the things that we do for each other, and occasionally, maybe you know, twice a year we'll actually get down and have time to like get coffee and stuff and we were actually chatting at our last get together finally saw her for the first time in what feels like a million years and she was sharing with me like some things that were going on in her home and like like taking care of elderly parents and she really needs to clean out this room. And I was like, oh, I really need to clean out this room and like this is feeling like really big for me and heavy for me, and it was like, wait a second, why don't we just, you know, show up at each other's place and have a sherooty board of food and listen to some music and just like help each other go through this thing? And so not only are we getting to spend time with each other, but we're also taking care of something necessary in our lives.

Speaker 1:

And this is how it used to be. Y'all we used to go shopping together not me and her particularly in this relationship but if you think way back when, how we had friendships, it wasn't us just going out to sit in for a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, you know, after we dropped the kids off, or, you know, for going out for lunch or whatever. Like eating meals around each other was really important. But also we shopped for the meals. We we did gathering of of the food with our, our friends and the people in our lives. We cooked, we cleaned, we did all of that together. That was a community thing. They're community efforts. And so how can we bring that more into what we're doing already? You know, maybe you're going grocery shopping at XYZ location, or you know Costco shopping. I tell you what is so much more fun with a friend? Go deep in your relationship and doing what you have to do already. And so, again, it's not like adding something more to your list of to-dos, it's taking what's already there, existing and transforming it into something that feels so beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Another thing, too, to look at is nourishing yourself and your body and your soul and keeping it simple instead of like complex fitness plans and strict diets. Like what is that small change that's going to make you feel so good? Maybe it's just focusing on drinking more water, a balanced meal each day, whatever that means for you, or just maybe having a cup of bone broth once in a while, or going for a walk, like keep it nourishing and attainable, and the goal is to sustain your energy and wellness without overwhelming yourself. So if it's like eating up at you, if it's becoming stressful, then it's no, it's not something that works for you.

Speaker 1:

And I know in the new year, like we get so excited about all of these goals that we have and we're finally going to lose the weight, or we're finally going to gain this muscle and we're finally going to have this diet, or we're finally going to, you know, whatever it is that you've got going on, especially in regards to health and wellness, which is this is the new year when we throw those the biggest, you know, health resolutions out into the world and we're like we're gonna do it, and then, a couple of weeks in, it's like a whole crash because we were recognizing that we're just pushing ourselves into something that's so much more harder, something that's bigger than us, and maybe it is doable, maybe it is necessary. And you know, again, we have those big goals but oftentimes it's done without first going back and saying, okay, what daily little habits have I put in place that's going to allow me to succeed in creating this bigger thing? Start with the small stuff, then work your way up. I feel like we're taking the brag out of what we're doing.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my New Year's resolution is to make things so much more simple or to take care of. This is mine, to take care of the laundry more regularly. That sounds so weird. It sounds so interesting, right? But I tell you what it's a game changer.

Speaker 1:

This is not my first year doing this. I think 2024 for me it was like a really big year transition and things moving and things being like there's just so much right. There was so much movement in my work and my business and my life and all and all of the things and um needing to take a step back from all of those big things that happened and like reprioritize and really look at my schedule and what am I doing and how am I supporting myself and all of that. The other thing that I'm really looking at is prioritizing play and rest over productivity. Is prioritizing play and rest over productivity? We don't always need to be like achieving or creating and this is a hard lesson for me because, as you know, an A-type personality here, embracing like these small moments of joy and relaxation, and that's meaning like more family movie nights and reading a book together or taking an afternoon nap. I'm telling you that is something that is productivity and my world and maybe I'm just getting old, but this is something that feels really good, the fun and the rest, and they don't feel like indulgences, they feel like just necessary things that are happening.

Speaker 1:

And my kids are getting older. My youngest is five and my oldest is 15. Can you believe it? 15, 15 and five, right? And then I have two in between 11 and eight and that's just insane to me to believe. Like my kids are growing up right on underneath me, like in front of my eyes.

Speaker 1:

I am watching them every day grow up and that's hard and I want to make these like the memories. How am I making memories with them? Like, what is it that I want to do that my kids are going to look back on? And one day you know, 20 years from now they're going to be sitting with their kids and we're going to be around the Christmas tree all talking about do you remember when my parents did this? Or do you remember when mom and dad used to do X, y, z or that one time? You know what I mean. Like I want those things to be memories that we talk about 20 years from now. I want these to be things that they pass down to their children. So how can we create more of that in our life?

Speaker 1:

It's not by doing more. It's about prioritizing the little things, like I see I hear so often. You know, like when you take your kids to like this massive vacation, this is so fun you guys like, how many times have you gone or heard of or like taking your kids, maybe like Disney? And you're like, oh my gosh, what was like the best part of the trip? Like you've gone through the whole thing, you surprised them, it was epic. Like you did all of the fun things. And they're like the movie on the airplane. Like out of the whole trip to Disney, the movie on the airplane was like the best thing in the whole world. Remember when we had that cupcake, that cupcake with all the icing and it was purple and had the sparkles in it. Yep, they're like, yeah, that was the best thing ever, like the whole trip to Disney and that's what you choose, right. And so our children already do this.

Speaker 1:

Naturally, they don't care about the big things, right, we can give them the big things all day long, but really the little moments is what matters most, and I think that's so applicable for us as well. So applicable the other thing, too. It's like we really have to adopt this less is more mindset and really start and like I know this sounds kind of funny, but like, how do we do that? And I will tell you set one or two small, achievable intentions for the year. Think of something simple like I'm just going to spend more time outside, where I'm going to have one meaningful family meal each week, and these small intentions can bring so much more meaning and joy without the pressure of, like, this big life altering goal.

Speaker 1:

And the other thing, too, is to just give yourself permission to say no. It's okay to turn down extra projects and avoid filling up your calendar and really protect your time and create some boundaries around what you allow on your plate. And when you do that, when you're, like you know, put saying no on your to-do list, I don't care how you'd wanna do it, but make sure that you're saying no so that you can say more of yes to what it is that you want. And then just focus on habits that are easy to integrate into your routine. Think about what already works and build on that. If you love listening to music, make it happen of a little dance break with your kids, if you enjoy cooking and use that time to unwind and connect. The idea is to add joy and intention without creating more work.

Speaker 1:

I want to share like scaling back and embracing this. Less is more. Mindset isn't about just doing less for the sake of it. It's about creating that space for what truly matters. It's about opening up room for the things that bring us peace and joy and connection by letting go of the pressures to do it all and then from that we find that we can actually get to enjoy life more, and there's something beautiful about finding joy and simplicity and creating a life that's full without being overwhelming.

Speaker 1:

So, as we head into this new year, remember that you don't have to chase the big goals. It's perfectly okay to keep it small, intentional and aligned with what you need right now. Sometimes less really is more. See you in the new year. Thanks so much for being a part of this crucial conversation. I know you're dedicated to advancing postpartum care and if you're ready to dig deeper, come join us on our newsletter, where I share exclusive insights, resources and the latest tools to help you make a lasting impact on postpartum health. Sign up at postpartumu the letter ucom which is in the show notes and if you found today's episode valuable, please leave a review to help us reach more providers like you. Together, we're building a future where mothers are fully supported and thriving.

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Maranda Bower

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