Postpartum University® Podcast

Postpartum Anxiety: Why Traditional Screening Misses the Identity Crisis | Carley Schweet EP 247

• Maranda Bower, Postpartum Nutrition Specialist

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When your clients say they're "drowning" or they "can't trust themselves," we can't just chalk it up to a simple chemical imbalance. We have to get real about postpartum anxiety (PPA). The clinical model, with its standard screening tools like the Edinburgh scale, is missing the deeper, unrecognized crisis of identity and boundaries that fuels so much of the mental load and perinatal mental health struggle.

Carley Schweet joins Maranda us today to share her own journey through undiagnosed PPA and the profound psychological and neurological rewiring that happens in the mother's brain. They talk about radical self-care, the power of reconnecting with maternal intuition, and how setting and honoring boundaries is the key to moving from feeling "not enough" to thriving in motherhood. This conversation is your key to recognizing the subtle, yet debilitating, non-clinical signs of PPA and giving your clients permission to choose differently so they can heal at the root.

Check out this episode on the blog HERE: 

Key time stamps: 

  • 01:47 Carley's personal struggle with undiagnosed postpartum anxiety 
  • 02:56 The  fear of losing a child that silences mothers & mental health. 
  • 03:40 The creation of Hello Postpartum gift boxes to honor the mother
  • 07:12 Standard clinical scales miss the identity shift and deeper trauma. 
  • 08:25 Postpartum anxiety can start 3+ years after birth. 
  • 09:48 Carley's coaching background + boundaries and people-pleasing. 
  • 11:13 Motherhood as a mirror for untrue narratives and lack of self-care. 
  • 13:53 The challenge of boundary setting is a consistent theme
  • 16:14 Psychological and neurological rewiring in the mother's brain 
  • 17:21 The biggest hormonal drop occurs after the placenta detaches. 
  • 17:40 The power of giving yourself permission to choose differently 
  • 19:36 How Chat GPT and AI contribute to intuitive disconnection 
  • 21:52 The daily practice of disconnection 

Connect with Carley: 

 In 2020, Carley founded Hello Postpartum, a platform dedicated to curating thoughtful gift boxes for new moms while uplifting other women-owned businesses. As a mom of two, published author, entrepreneur, and holistic self-care coach, Carley brings a passionate and intentional perspective to all she does. She currently lives outside of Seattle, where she runs her business and enjoys life with her family.   Website | IG 

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SPEAKER_01:

The postpartum care system is failing, leaving countless mothers struggling with depression, anxiety, and autoimmune conditions. I'm Miranda Bauer, and I've helped thousands of providers use holistic care practices to heal their clients at the root. Subscribe now and join us in addressing what modern medicine overlooks so that you can give your clients real lasting solutions for lifelong well-being. Hey, hey hey, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Miranda Bauer here. And I am absolutely thrilled because I have the Carly here who founded Hello Postpartum. Like Carly and I have been chatting for I feel like it's been a couple of years. This probably hasn't, but I feel like we've known each other for a while. And she's finally here. She's here on the podcast today talking about all things postpartum. She has created a platform dedicated to curating thoughtful gift boxes for new moms while uplifting other women-owned businesses. So she's a she's a mom of two. She's a published author, entrepreneur, holistic self-care coach, and she is bringing a passionate and intentional perspective to everything that she does. She lives in Seattle, she runs her business, she enjoys life with her family. And Carly, I am so thrilled to finally have this conversation with you. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks for having me, Miranda.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So you started Hello Postpartum from your own experience with undiagnosed postpartum anxiety. What were you experiencing that no one was talking about or addressing?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, absolutely. I think, especially with the first baby, um, I had him almost five years ago. No, what am I saying? Almost six years ago, which is crazy. And I just felt like I was constantly drowning and I couldn't make a decision for myself. Um, it was, you know, right before COVID hit when we were all stuck at home. And I had so much time just to like ruminate and research. And I felt so overwhelmed by the lack of professional resources out there. So I would just spend hours and hours and hours researching every little thing. And I didn't know that wasn't normal. Um, I thought that was a sign that I was being a good mom. I thought that was a sign that I was doing the right thing, but I had a really hard time trusting myself and anybody else.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I remember my first experience too, something very similar, deep depression, anxiety. And I feel I felt like I couldn't say anything to anyone because first off, they should know just by looking at me. Like I felt like it was so obvious. But two, I felt like if I said anything, then I would potentially lose my kid. And if they knew like what was happening inside of my head, like it wasn't sane. That's what I felt like. I was not going to be here. Yeah. How did that lead you to start hello postpartum? I mean, you're you're curating gift boxes for new moms. Like, where did that intersection come from?

SPEAKER_00:

Totally. That's a great question. So when I started Hello Postpartum back in 2020, it started as a digital resource. We were ebooks, expert-written articles, a place where new moms and parents could go to find resources that truly supported them throughout their journey for those questions that, you know, no one was really asking, no one was talking about. And then over the years, it it morphed into physical products as well. So now we have um, you know, our curated gift boxes because everybody gets a gift for the baby, right? No one gets a gift for the mom or the new parent. And it just felt like I was so overlooked. I know so many friends that were so so overlooked. And it was just really important that we could create these boxes that met new parents and moms where they were at. Um, whether it was a vaginal birth or a c-section birth or breastfeeding, you know, it's just was so important to honor that postpartum experience in a time where everyone was gifting a baby blanket.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so, so true. And I feel like your work also goes a lot deeper than that. It's not just like here's something extra that you get, and like, here's this gift for you and your boob pads, you know, all of the things like you talk about all of these other things that come in, like what self-care really looks like when you're touched out, when you're sleep deprived, when you're emotionally drained. And I'd love to hear your perspective because I feel like this is something that is often very much missed by providers, obviously, because they really don't have the time or the resources to include this. But like, what do what can we do about that? How can we implement this as providers, as people who are supporting women in these years after having a baby?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's so true. I think it's it's hard. It requires such a level of honesty and self-awareness from you know, the mother who just gave birth to in time, right? To have a moment to say, hey, like, wow, how am I really doing? Like, what is what am I feeling? What's going on? What's not feeling like me? What's feeling off? Um, what's going well and what's not going well. And rarely does a new mother actually get that time to decompress and kind of work through things, which is where a birth and postpartum doula can really come in great hand to support that process. And then the honesty of finding the courage to name what they're feeling. Like for me personally, that was really, really hard as someone who um constantly struggled with naming emotions and feelings and raising a hand when I'm struggling. And I've had that conversation with so many, too, that just kind of it's not all, it's not all roses and sunshine. And to be honest about that is so important. And I think that's changed, you know, over the past six years since I've had my first, like there are so many more transparent and honest conversations. But still, when you get down to it one-on-one, it can be really challenging. Um so, as providers, you know, I think it's so important to just say, like, how are you really doing? You know, if if no one else could hear you, hear what you're gonna say, tell me your darkest thoughts, you know, what's on your mind?

SPEAKER_01:

It's so interesting because we have the postpartum uh restorative assessment tool that we use, which goes into depth about a lot of these questions that are so so obvious yet so missed in appointments, right? And we have, you know, the the Edinburgh postnatal scale. And but it but I feel like it doesn't, well, I know it does not touch on what we're actually experiencing. And you talk about this a lot too. You mention the hidden mental and emotional challenges that providers miss because they're not asking the right questions, right? Even in this clinical model that tells us like, oh, these are the questions we should be asking, like they're not it anymore. Right. So like what's the difference, I'm curious, between postpartum depression and anxiety that gets diagnosed and this deeper identity shift that goes completely unrecognized or might even go be recognized as postpartum depression or anxiety. It's like usually all lumped up. Oh, you're not feeling good. It's this. Here's your stamp.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. It's so true. And I think, you know, length of time is really important to consider too. Like, and obviously, I am not a licensed counselor or therapist. This is just speaking from my personal experience and what I've learned in this work. You know, baby blues, typically around two weeks that lasts and hopefully lifts postpartum depression anxiety. I mean, you can have an onset of that up to a year after birth or more. And I think a lot of people don't realize postpartum depression and anxiety can really hit at any time. It's not like something that, oh, it's been three months, like I'm golden. Um, like three plus years. Like seriously, it's a thing. It is. And there's that time too, I've found in having conversations that like when baby's 12 weeks old, sometimes even younger, the support just kind of disappears. It's like the hurrah, the congratulations have all really died down, and there's not as much check-in, there's not as much support. Your doctor's appointments are like very few and far between to begin with. And it's just like all right, well, is anybody out there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Did your coaching practice develop after the boxes were like what I'm I'm curious to like how that intertwined with the work that you were doing?

SPEAKER_00:

That's a really good question. Um, so no, I studied um at the Institute for Integrated Nutrition like 10 years ago when I was living in New York City. Um, I went to a small culinary school there for an intensive program on nutrition. Um, and then that morphed into self-care coaching with my own experience of having a lack of boundaries and not communicating and people pleasing. So all of that work actually came before having my kid, which I think having those tools, it was so helpful for me. But at the same time, when you're in it, it is so hard to recognize in yourself what's going on, what you need more help with, what you need support with. But there was a moment where I was like really checking in my with myself, and I was like, this isn't right. And honestly, it was worse after my second. Um, I think my postpartum anxiety continued to go undiagnosed until I had my second baby. They're just 23 months apart. So it just, I learned to live with it in those 23 months. COVID, right, forced me inside, which was helpful with someone experiencing intense anxiety. So yeah, that's my long, that's my long answer. Um, I was finally officially diagnosed after the birth of my second.

SPEAKER_01:

I found that you you mentioned like boundaries and all of these other components. And I feel like becoming a mom made me realize the lack of boundaries that I had with others and myself and like how little that I care about myself, right? And and how much I feel like I'm not enough. And like I feel like I came up against all of these things, which helped really spiral into that depression and that anxiety. And over the course of having, I have four kids, and over the course of having all of those children, like coming face to face with these things that are not true, or these things are not in alignment in my life. And when I was able to stand up and make a boundary known, or when I was able to support myself and whatever thing that I needed to, or recognize myself and whatever I needed to, it was such a different, it was a game changer, right? It's like a relief. And I felt this just this summer, right? I had four kids home. I was uh, you know, so many things. Everybody had sports, everybody had things to do. We were literally traveling around the state, you know, for sports and like my oldest now has a work schedule, and it was just like absolute chaos. And then me stepping into that with literally no boundaries. Like I didn't have, and so by the end of the summer, I was like, no, this is how it goes. Boom, boom, boom. And I was like, whew, relief. But by the time I figured it out right now, all the kids are back in school. But I feel like that that in itself was like the the trans the unknown transition into motherhood. Like totally the things that we don't know or don't recognize about what we allow into our lives. And so when you become a mother, it's like all of these things that you now have to deal with, which is insanely difficult because you're dealing with so much other things, like you know, keeping a newborn alive and usually toddlers and all of those things on top of it. So I'm wondering for you, like, do you feel like that is very true for you and your experience? Like when you set up those boundaries, when those are honored for yourself, right? And when you make sure that you are taken care of and that your needs are met and that your body feels safe and nourished, like everything else kind of becomes a little bit easier, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Totally, totally. And it's it's so important. And even though it's so important, it's it's not always easy. It's certainly challenging for many. Um, and and in my personal experience, you know, I was so boundaried with, you know, who I won at the hospital, because this was like right before COVID hit. So I was still allowed to have visitors. With my second, it was like, there's no question, no one's coming in or out. Um which helped, but I did set boundaries up front. I really tried my best. I think I set more boundaries around the care of my baby versus the care of myself because I was still trying to figure out how to be a mother and what that looked like. And it's so interesting to see how the theme of boundaries continues to come up in motherhood. And I felt that this summer, um, much like you. And the challenge of setting boundaries and caring for yourself is a consistent theme in motherhood. It's not just in the postpartum phase, but that is the time to start practicing and practicing and strengthening that muscle because it doesn't get easier when when it comes to setting boundaries, because there are more demands. Um, you know, the children start to have opinions and they have feedback on everything. And it just becomes a little trickier. So setting those boundaries, getting comfortable with it, um, and and learning to recognize your emotions is so important, even during pregnancy, too.

SPEAKER_01:

There's like this whole rewiring, this psychological and neurological rewiring that's happening in a mother's brain. And I would love to hear your opinion. Like, we there's so much support that focuses on baby, like as you mentioned. Like, we don't have this information. We don't have this understanding of these psychological and neurological rewirings of our brain. And like, here we are talking about boundaries and all of these things, which wasn't a conversation when I had my first 15 years ago. It wasn't a conversation when you had yours six years ago. Like, we're in this new phase of life. Like, what do you feel we need to share with moms as people who are in this position doing this hard work of sharing all of these things? Like, what do they need to know about what is the basics for mom? Like, what does she need in order to thrive, especially when she's touched out, sleep-deprived, feeling emotionally drained? Like, what does that self-care look like for her?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Well, I think first of all, what was super helpful for me and very eye-opening was learning that the moment that you give birth, that your placenta detaches from the uterine wall, that hormonal shift that you experience, that drop is the biggest drop you will experience in your entire life. And for like really sit with that, you know, and think about what your body is going through physically, emotionally, mentally in that moment and over the next months and years, because it doesn't just recover. And I think we all need to give ourselves a lot more grace in that period, especially. And, you know, self-care looks like letting yourself choose differently than what you thought you might choose, you know, and giving yourself the permission to do things in a different way than what maybe you had planned. And I wish someone told me that. Um, you know, we make these plans to how we're going to give birth, how we're going to bring a baby into this world and what the nursery will look like, and what, you know, baby will sleep like, and how we'll navigate sleep challenges, feeding challenges, etc. Like give yourself permission to choose differently at any moment in time. That is so powerful.

SPEAKER_01:

So powerful. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And that's still true to this day.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. No matter where you are. It's like it's constantly like reoccurring, right? You don't, it's like it's not one and done. I find this so true with just like organizing my house, right? It's like never one and done. It's like, oh, I have to do this like multiple times a year. Oh, where did this crap came come from? You know? Multiple times. Um, yeah. Same with like the inner inner workings of our worlds. Like, and and one thing that I love what you do, and you you talk about this is how you help mothers reconnect with their intuition. Like, this is a hot topic. I would love to know a little bit more about what does that mean? Yeah. What do you what are you doing? And and how does that go against maybe like societal expectations? How are how are they being disconnected from their intuition in the first place? Like, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's so true. And I think, well, now especially with like Chat GPT and all of this AI that we have literally at our fingertips can be such a blessing and such a curse. I think I mean, even myself these days, I'm like, oh, just ask ChatGPT. I'm like, no, no, no. Like, use your brain. Try to figure out what feels right. Try to figure it out for yourself. And I think when we can become so inundated with information, um, it can be really paralyzing to make a decision, much less make a decision that truly supports our baby, our lifestyle, um, our mental and physical emotional health, what's best for our family, you know, what works for somebody doesn't work for somebody else. And when we start to just rely on external factors all the time, we can end up one day looking around, being like, this is none of this is exactly like what I envisioned or how I wanted it or how it's working for me. Um, so I think it's just really important to slow down and literally turn off the phone, like tune in and and just, you know, try to connect with what you're feeling and seeing and experiencing.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so good. I love that. This has been a wonderful conversation. Is there anything that I didn't ask you that you wish I would have?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't think so. You know, I just I want to reiterate again how important it is to give yourself grace through this process and that permission to choose differently at any point in time. I think that if we could give ourselves that permission, our physical, emotional, spiritual, mental health could all look so differently. And it requires us, and I'm still practicing this every single day, like it is hard for me. Um, but it requires us to turn out the tune out the noise and the opinions and the the endless resources, which, you know, feels ironic coming from someone who owns a company for postpartum support. But it is important to just come back home and like get centered.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I find myself having I do that every night. My phone goes on airplane mode every night at 9 p.m. Like that's that's the end of it. Um and I'm I'm kind of terrible at it in the morning because I love, love my work. But you know, I tell myself that I'm not going to get on my phone or do anything until after the kids are are off to school. And that doesn't necessarily happen that way. But I try. Sometimes I'm successful. But the the night thing is really, really key for me and to like a tune out. And when I'm in creation mode, it's even more so. Like if I'm creating a book, if I'm creating something that I want to share with the world, I have to tune out because I don't want anything else influencing what it is that I'm sharing, right? Because like you, like you said, we can go to ChatGPT, we can go, Instagram is like overflowing with all of these opinions, social media in general. And it's just really hard to navigate sometimes. No matter if you're a mom or or a provider, if you're in this field or if you're not, like it doesn't matter. I think this is applicable for everyone.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's so true. It's so important to disconnect. And it's it's hard in a world that makes us feel like we have to be connected. And especially when you're navigating the postpartum time, you know, the last thing you need is to open it up and open up social media and see something that you need to compare yourself against or tell you to do something a certain way. And now, granted, like there's so many incredible resources out there, and I get that, but it's important to check in and just like make sure you're getting enough of the good stuff.

SPEAKER_01:

Amen. I love it. Thank you so, so much. Where can people find your work?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, at Hello Postpartum on Instagram. Uh, you can also check out our website and store at hellopostpartum.com.

SPEAKER_01:

They're amazing, incredible stuff. So if you haven't heard of Hello Postpartum, I highly recommend going to check out all of their things. Thank you so much for being here. Of course, absolutely. Thanks so much for being a part of this crucial conversation. I know you're dedicated to advancing postpartum care. And if you're ready to dig deeper, come join us on our newsletter where I share exclusive insights, resources, and the latest tools to help you make a lasting impact on postpartum health. Sign up at postpartum you the letter you.com, which is in the show notes. And if you found today's episode valuable, please leave a review to help us reach more providers like you. Together, we're building a future where mothers are fully supported and thriving.

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Maranda Bower

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